well i mean less stress at work always helps. sorta are the memories really getting you that bad? ive had a couple but theyve been you know alarming but not traumatizing
Of course. I send my best all the same. Even if he is a person I do not know, he is someone a reliable worker of mine worries after so I hope the best for him.
I merely overstated things when I said I could easily accept my memories. I was talking as a fool and yet people let me. When I started to remember a life that wasn't mine, I became aware of my own failings as a person and began to worry if those failings would lead to disaster for others. That sort of thinking.
so what, you're worried you're too much like the old version of you, or that you can't be like that person? you shouldn't worry about what the past means for you now. it's over and done with. and you're a good guy, kei. you're not close to causing anyone any disasters.
i think i was some kinda treasure hunter or something, i dunno. i worked together with a group of us, traveling around. i think. my friend that was in the hospital -- he got absorbed into a giant crystal at some point. for years i guess. and we were just waiting for him to come out again, like there was nothing we could do.
The former. I already had decided that person is me. I can't very well go back on my decision when it becomes difficult. But that's kind of you to say. No, not kind. Kind indicates that you're just saying it in order to ease my worried feelings. I appreciate the manner in which you view me, and how you think the best of me. Rather, I am grateful for it.
That all sounds terribly disjointed. A group of treasure hunters, hm. And your companion is absorbed into a crystal. I suppose one could say that he attempted to acquire a treasure he should not have? I suppose that when something that strange happens ... there isn't anything to do but wait until the person emerges or give up.
you're not accountable for whatever a guy from a lifetime ago did. even if you decide he's you... you didn't even remember him until a month ago.
yeah... maybe. i wasn't about to give up though. even then. apparently he was in the crystal for ten years, so. he came out eventually. but the fact that i just waited for ten years... kind of pisses me off.
No. But I believe I wish to save him with myself. No. I do want to save him with me. If we can only save ourselves, I will and won't break that rule by saving him along with me.
i'm mad i just left it up to him to come out. why didn't i do anything to try to help? surely there could've been some way to make it so he didn't have to be stuck there for an entire decade.
see, this is why i don't like this past life stuff. we're both holding ourselves accountable for someone else's actions. this is too damn complicated.
I suppose the best way to explain is that his thoughts are evil. That may come off benign, but he is an overseer -- a neutral party -- watching over a battle between mages. So long as the body count stays low enough to allow for cover-up, the group he is affiliated with doesn't care what they do to each other or innocents. He simply has such a cold indifference that I cannot call it anything but evil. Even if that is all true, a person would still feel something. A normal person would still be upset about the circumstances that they are in. I find that reprehensible. In short, his thoughts are simply evil even if I realize his actions have yet to reflect the same evil nature.
I see. You wanted him to do more rather than accept circumstances. Even if it may not have done anything, you wished for him to try.
It is complicated. But the decisions are simple. We accept them or we deny them. And neither course of action is wrong. I used to think the latter was the wrong one, but now I see the immaturity of my thoughts. So if you do not wish to accept him, you needn't have to. I will respect this decision, as well, even if it is not my own.
maybe he's just used to it? it sounds like he can't do anything about it anyway. but i didn't experience the memories. so i don't know for sure. but his actions aren't evil, are they?
yeah. but i guess i don't know everything that he did. i didn't see the whole ten years. just a glimpse.
... i don't know which i want to do yet. i don't even have the full story of what he was like or what he did.
yeah, you can't just decide someone's evil based off a couple glimpses at their life. i bet you'll be kicking yourself when you find out the guy donates to charity and volunteers at the soup kitchen.
if i reject your thanks, and you reject my thanks, then who's flying the plane???
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
well i mean
less stress at work always helps. sorta
are the memories really getting you that bad? ive had a couple but theyve been
you know
alarming but not traumatizing
no subject
I send my best all the same.
Even if he is a person I do not know, he is someone a reliable worker of mine worries after so I hope the best for him.
I merely overstated things when I said I could easily accept my memories.
I was talking as a fool and yet people let me.
When I started to remember a life that wasn't mine, I became aware of my own failings as a person and began to worry if those failings would lead to disaster for others.
That sort of thinking.
But alarming?
What's happened?
no subject
so what, you're worried you're too much like the old version of you, or that you can't be like that person?
you shouldn't worry about what the past means for you now. it's over and done with.
and you're a good guy, kei.
you're not close to causing anyone any disasters.
i think i was some kinda treasure hunter or something, i dunno.
i worked together with a group of us, traveling around. i think.
my friend that was in the hospital -- he got absorbed into a giant crystal at some point.
for years i guess. and we were just waiting for him to come out again, like there was nothing we could do.
[1/2]
The former.
I already had decided that person is me.
I can't very well go back on my decision when it becomes difficult.
But that's kind of you to say.
No, not kind.
Kind indicates that you're just saying it in order to ease my worried feelings.
I appreciate the manner in which you view me, and how you think the best of me.
Rather, I am grateful for it.
no subject
A group of treasure hunters, hm.
And your companion is absorbed into a crystal.
I suppose one could say that he attempted to acquire a treasure he should not have?
I suppose that when something that strange happens ... there isn't anything to do but wait until the person emerges or give up.
no subject
even if you decide he's you... you didn't even remember him until a month ago.
yeah... maybe.
i wasn't about to give up though. even then.
apparently he was in the crystal for ten years, so. he came out eventually.
but the fact that i just waited for ten years... kind of pisses me off.
no subject
But I believe I wish to save him with myself.
No. I do want to save him with me.
If we can only save ourselves, I will and won't break that rule by saving him along with me.
...
Still, why does that anger you?
no subject
i'm mad i just left it up to him to come out.
why didn't i do anything to try to help? surely there could've been some way to make it so he didn't have to be stuck there for an entire decade.
see, this is why i don't like this past life stuff. we're both holding ourselves accountable for someone else's actions.
this is too damn complicated.
[1/2]
That may come off benign, but he is an overseer -- a neutral party -- watching over a battle between mages. So long as the body count stays low enough to allow for cover-up, the group he is affiliated with doesn't care what they do to each other or innocents.
He simply has such a cold indifference that I cannot call it anything but evil.
Even if that is all true, a person would still feel something. A normal person would still be upset about the circumstances that they are in.
I find that reprehensible.
In short, his thoughts are simply evil even if I realize his actions have yet to reflect the same evil nature.
no subject
You wanted him to do more rather than accept circumstances.
Even if it may not have done anything, you wished for him to try.
It is complicated.
But the decisions are simple.
We accept them or we deny them.
And neither course of action is wrong.
I used to think the latter was the wrong one, but now I see the immaturity of my thoughts.
So if you do not wish to accept him, you needn't have to.
I will respect this decision, as well, even if it is not my own.
no subject
it sounds like he can't do anything about it anyway.
but i didn't experience the memories. so i don't know for sure.
but his actions aren't evil, are they?
yeah. but i guess i don't know everything that he did.
i didn't see the whole ten years. just a glimpse.
...
i don't know which i want to do yet.
i don't even have the full story of what he was like or what he did.
no subject
[ Kei pauses as he thinks perhaps he is sharing too much. It is hardly his place to add more uncomfortable feelings to his employee's shoulders. ]
So he may have.
If I may, attempt to have some hope in who that person is.
You do not yet know his story, as you say, so don't write a tragedy yet.
And that's fair.
So long as you don't commit, you won't feel guilty if you decide to go against your choice.
no subject
you can't judge someone on their feelings alone.
yeah. i guess it's better holding off for now.
least until i know what his deal is.
no subject
Even if the actions are not evil, if the thoughts remain evil, the person is not good.
But all the same, I'm relieved I could offer some support to you.
Thank you for allowing me that chance.
no subject
i wanna know more about him before i decide he's no good.
hey, you're the one who helped me here.
i should be the one thanking you.
no subject
And perhaps, I am being too cold?
We'll see.
I'll get more into his thoughts another time.
In any case, even if you thank me...
I reject it, since I'm the one that feels most reassured.
no subject
i bet you'll be kicking yourself when you find out the guy donates to charity and volunteers at the soup kitchen.
if i reject your thanks, and you reject my thanks, then who's flying the plane???
[Is it weird to joke with your boss. Probably.]
no subject
The mapo today?
[ Eh, he will roll with it. ]